Kevin Smith, jumping the biggest shark he can find

[Beefy]

Meh.

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[eo000]

He better fucking not. I'll loan the guy $20 if he needs money that bad.

[Gamplayerx]

Damnit!  You fixed it and after I went to all the trouble to find where I left this.

[Jessie]

Oh my.

[DownSouth]

Dumb

[Dry then Catch]

in the deleted scenes of Clerks, Dante gets killed

[Alice]

in the deleted scenes of Clerks, Dante gets killed

And Randall gets a rim job from the Chewleys gum guy.

[Bishamonten]

We're gonna need a bigger boat...

[Bennyhana]

I seem to recall him saying that the original script for "Clerks 2" became "Jay and Silent Bob strike back," and that Jay and Silent Bob would NEVER return.  *sigh*

[Jessie]

I love Jay and Silent Bob.

[Bennyhana]

I love Jay and Silent Bob, too, but I love Kevin Smith, and I know that he's capable of writing movies without them.  It's just sad that he seems not so capable of selling movies without them.  I seriously think that had nothing to do with the commercial failure of Jersey Girl, though.  I blame Jennifer Lopez and Gigli for that. 

[Jessie]

Jersey Girl wasn't a very good movie.

[DownSouth]

 Ididn't think Gigili was as bad as everyone made it sound.

[Alice]

Jersey Girl wasn't a very good movie.

It was as good as Land Before Time XXIV.

[Jessie]

Jersey Girl wasn't a very good movie.

It was as good as Land Before Time XXIV.

I don't know, I prefer Land Before Time MMXCCI.

[Alice]

Jersey Girl wasn't a very good movie.

It was as good as Land Before Time XXIV.

I don't know, I prefer Land Before Time MMXCCI.

Yeah, that one was pretty good.  You know, I never can tire of Ducky's shenannigans. 

[Beefy]

Ididn't think Gigili was as bad as everyone made it sound.

It wasn't even close to being the worst film of that year.

[DownSouth]

Ididn't think Gigili was as bad as everyone made it sound.

It wasn't even close to being the worst film of that year.

Hell no.

[Beefy]

Ididn't think Gigili was as bad as everyone made it sound.

It wasn't even close to being the worst film of that year.

Hell no.

I can think of two off the top of my head:

House of the Dead  (using actual videogame footage?!  for shame)
Charlie's Angels 2 (I tried for two straight nights to knock myself unconscious while trying to get through the movie; eventually, I just let the 4 bucks go and turned it off.  Effing terrible.)

[Bennyhana]

I saw Gigli.  The only part I enjoyed was the part where the guy gets shot in the head, his brains splatter into the fishtank behind him, and you can see fish eating the "brain" chunks during the rest of the scene.  I rewound to watch that part again.  J Lo's monologues were written by someone who thought he was Kevin Smith and delivered such that they sounded like she hadn't even memorized them, much less made acting choices with them.  Horrible.

[eo000]

I saw Gigli.  The only part I enjoyed was the part where the guy gets shot in the head, his brains splatter into the fishtank behind him, and you can see fish eating the "brain" chunks during the rest of the scene.  I rewound to watch that part again.  J Lo's monologues were written by someone who thought he was Kevin Smith and delivered such that they sounded like she hadn't even memorized them, much less made acting choices with them.  Horrible.

what about when ben and the slow kid were sitting in the car talking about how the girls at the baywatch make his penis sneeze. then he looks down and says "god bless you, penis"

i laughed for about 5 minutes after that.

[Bennyhana]

Okay, I admit that was really funny, too.

[eo000]

Okay, I admit that was really funny, too.

and what about when he's rapping in the kitchen, giving shout out's to his peeps at the 5th street mental ward?

[Beefy]

"Gobble gobble."

[Alice]

I think Kevin Smith needs a bigger boat.