Today's FW: FW: FWD: RE: FW:

[Gamplayerx]

But I actually liked it, so I'm sharing.

ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST

Once again, the Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1.  Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2.  Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3.  Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4.  Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5.  Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6.  Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7.  Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8.  Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9.  Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10.  Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11.  Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12.  Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13.  Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14.  Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15.  Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16.  Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

[dazie]

12.  Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13.  Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

How'd Bish get in there twice?

[ReBurn]

These are so great!

[Gamplayerx]

As an aside, I was one of the winners back in 1996.

[Youphoric]

13.  Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

My favrotei.

What was your entry, G?

[nishi]

As an aside, I was one of the winners back in 1996.

that is awesome!! the publication of this list and the list of 'childrens books you've never heard of' (or shouldn't hear of - whatever it's called) are something that i really look forward to every year.

[Gamplayerx]

I honestly don't remember.  I have the newspaper saved in a box somewhere.