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General Categories => Occupy My Mind! => Topic started by: Gamplayerx on April 25, 2005, 02:39:02 PM

Title: Today's FW: FW: FWD: RE: FW:
Post by: Gamplayerx on April 25, 2005, 02:39:02 PM
But I actually liked it, so I'm sharing.

ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST

Once again, the Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1.  Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2.  Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3.  Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4.  Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5.  Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6.  Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7.  Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8.  Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9.  Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10.  Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11.  Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12.  Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13.  Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14.  Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15.  Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16.  Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Title: Re: Today's FW: FW: FWD: RE: FW:
Post by: dazie on April 25, 2005, 02:44:04 PM
Quote from: Gamplayerx on April 25, 2005, 02:39:02 PM
12.  Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13.  Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.


How'd Bish get in there twice?
Title: Re: Today's FW: FW: FWD: RE: FW:
Post by: ReBurn on April 25, 2005, 02:44:24 PM
These are so great!
Title: Re: Today's FW: FW: FWD: RE: FW:
Post by: Gamplayerx on April 25, 2005, 02:50:10 PM
As an aside, I was one of the winners back in 1996.
Title: Re: Today's FW: FW: FWD: RE: FW:
Post by: Youphoric on April 25, 2005, 03:44:31 PM
Quote13.  Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
My favrotei.

What was your entry, G?
Title: Re: Today's FW: FW: FWD: RE: FW:
Post by: nishi on April 25, 2005, 03:49:41 PM
Quote from: Gamplayerx on April 25, 2005, 02:50:10 PM
As an aside, I was one of the winners back in 1996.

that is awesome!! the publication of this list and the list of 'childrens books you've never heard of' (or shouldn't hear of - whatever it's called) are something that i really look forward to every year.
Title: Re: Today's FW: FW: FWD: RE: FW:
Post by: Gamplayerx on April 25, 2005, 03:50:27 PM
I honestly don't remember.  I have the newspaper saved in a box somewhere.